Tearing up a Lake

watch the podcast

Play Video

Our boys take to the water and teach viewers how to throw a party on a boat, with great food and cocktails. From cocktails to tacos, the gang ships out to teach you all the party tricks to make a day on a boat tasty, mostly safe and definitely fun. Learn how to prep for the water and have a great time soaking in some rays. You’ll need sunscreen, portable coolers and plenty of towels as we splash our way through a great party.

Play Video

The cargo

Watermelon Mint Margarita

When chillin’ on a boat or by a pool, you want a chiller drink to chill with, and this is it. Super refreshing, light and enough booze to keep you interested, this drink is so good you gotta keep an eye on it – a few can go a long way. The sweet, hydrating watermelon juice, hint of lime and the mint simple syrup are perfect on a hot day – like that cool, light breeze on the beach, it’s perfect as the sun heats up. These can be made a day in advance in a disposable (or better yet, reusable) plastic bottle, for easy distribution on the boat, no fuss, no muss and plenty of margs, ya’ll. Also, for those who aren’t drinking, watermelon juice can be refreshing all on its own, and works as a mocktail really well if you make it without the booze.

Ingredients

  • 16 ounces (2 cups) of reposado tequila
  • 4 ounces (½ cup) Mint simple syrup (directions below)
  • 8 ounces (1 cup) Orange liqueur (we use Cointreau, Grand Marnier or Clement) 
  • 24 ounces (3 cups) Watermelon juice (directions below)
  • 4 ounces fresh lime juice
  • ¼ teaspoon sea salt
  • Ice for serving
  • Lime wedges for garnish
  • Mini Umbrellas for garnish
  • Plastic cups for serving

Ingredients for Mint Simple Syrup

  • 1 cup raw or granulated white sugar
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 handful (or 1 cup) fresh mint leaves

Directions for Mint Simple Syrup

  • In a pot, add the sugar and water and heat until bubbles form and it simmers, stirring constantly
  • Once all the sugar is dissolved, remove from heat
  • Drop your mint leaves in and cover, and let sit for 30 minutes
  • Strain out the mint leaves (syrup is good for about a month in the fridge)

Ingredients for Watermelon Juice

  • 2 Small watermelons or 1 big watermelon

Directions for Watermelon Juice

  • Scoop watermelon into a blender, and puree until smooth
  • Using a strainer, strain out the thick parts, leaving the pink, clear and thinned juice

Directions

  • In a large plastic bottle, add the tequila, liquor, lime juice, salt, watermelon juice and simple syrup (refrigerate overnight)
  • Fill plastic, reusable cups with ice
  • Fill each glass with the mixed drink
  • Top with a lime wedge and a gummi dino on a toothpick
  • Sip it and straight up chill

Deviled Duck Eggs

When you’re headed out on a boat, you want to have a lot of really good, upleveled, kind of special food because let’s face it: any day on a boat should be special. The trick is you want to have some of your food built to be handhelds, so making something a little luxe while making it easy to eat can be tricky. You can make the day ahead to plan out right. This is the perfect send-up of the classic American dish, Deviled Eggs, but we get you at a level that works on a rowboat or a yacht, feel us? We top it with some super classiness, and have a base of an egg itself that is built for water: ducks (basically chickens that can swim and have a kazoo for a beak).  We use duck eggs instead of chicken eggs because they are fattier, have more flavor, and more protein, too. We add in some fresh dill and cornichons to really dress up our mix, and top with caviar and smoked paprika to really stand out from the crowd. Blue sky, calm water and deviled eggs that taste like they came outta heaven. Helluva summer dish, and easy to prep the day before.

Ingredients

  • 6 duck eggs (these can be found at a Farmer’s Market, Asian Food Market or a lot of regular shopping markets too)
  • 3 tablespoons mayo
  • 1 teaspoon sour cream
  • 1 teaspoon dijon mustard
  • 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
  • 4 minced cornichons (gherkins can be used as a substitute, we like the fancier, French cousin)
  • 2 tablespoons of minced fresh dill
  • 2 teaspoons of smoked paprika
  • 1 6 ounce container of black lumpfish caviar (also found at any Wegmans in the tuna section)

Directions

  • Put eggs in a pot with just enough water to cover the eggs
  • Bring to a boil and boil for one minute
  • Remove from heat, cover tightly, let rest for 19 minutes
  • Remove hot water, add in ice cubes and cold water and let rest for 20 minutes
  • Peel the eggs, cut them in half, and throw the yolks into a mixing bowl
  • Add all ingredients (minus the egg whites, dill, paprika and caviar) and mix thoroughly
  • Scoop the mixture back into each egg
  • Top each egg with a sprinkle of smoked paprika, a pinch of dill and a teaspoon or so of caviar
  • [NOTE: TO BEST PREPARE FOR YOUR TRIP, STUFF THE EGGS BUT BRING THE PAPRIKA IN A SANDWICH BAG TO APPLY ON THE SPOT, AND A PLASTIC SPOON TO DISTRIBUTE THE CAVIAR)

Gyro Pasta Salad

When you’re planning to spend a day on the boat with some margaritas, under the sun, we’re a big believer that you should have a solid (yet delicious) starch to help fuel the party. We bring paper or reusable cups and forks to have this beauty easy to carry and eliminate the mess. To compliment our other flavors, instead of Tex Mex, we’re going to tap into Greek roots, and pull something out of the Mediterranean sea to shine on whatever body of water you’re crusin’ on. Rivers, lakes, oceans, this pasta salad is bright and fun and brings so much to the table. We’ve got Orzo, which hangs just as well as the people in your crew, some protein, feta, oregano and flavors that combine to make you come back for more. All of the parts should be made in advance and put into freezer bags so you can assemble it perfectly on the boat. We top it off with a dollop of homemade Tzatziki sauce and you’re good to go. Remember, no glass on the boat, so no plates to smash, but we’re pretty sure this dish will still get you to say “Opa!”

Ingredients

  • 1 pound of lamb shanks or lamb chops (you can buy Gyro meat from your local Greek restaurant or use frozen gyro meat too if you’d lamb is hard to come by), marinated in the Mediterranean Marinade/Dressing overnight (instructions below), and grilled for 4 minutes each side and chopped up, placed in a freezer bag
  • ½ cup of Mediterranean Marinade/Dressing
  • ½ pound of shredded, sun dried tomatoes
  • ½ pound of pitted, halved kalamata olives
  • 1 pound of Orzo, cooked, put into a freezer bag, and then a tablespoon of Olive oil poured in and mixed up to prevent sticking
  • ½ pound of crumbled feta cheese, placed in a sandwich bag
  • 5 ounce can of artichoke hearts, finely chopped, placed in a sandwich bag
  • 1/4 tablespoon ground black pepper
  • ¼ teaspoon salt

Ingredients for Mediterranean Marinade/Dressing (Use 1.5 C for the Meat, .5 C as the dressing for the Salad)

  • 2 cups extra virgin olive oil
  • 5 Crushed garlic cloves
  • 1 bunch of chives, chopped
  • ½ cup fresh Greek oregano, chopped (regular oregano will work too)
  • ½  cup chopped fresh basil leaves
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
  • ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

Directions for Mediterranean Marinade/Dressing

  • Mix all ingredients evenly, let sit for at least an hour if possible

Directions

  • Once making the Mediterranean Marinade separate ½ cup  into a small bowl and set aside 
  • Take a plastic bag and pour in the rest of the marinade. Add in a pound of lamb shanks or lamb chops. Let sit marinating in the bag for a minimum of 4 hours, we let them sit overnight.
  • Cook the lamb on the grill after sitting overnight. Once cooked, cut into tiny pieces.
  • In a large plastic bowl mix all ingredients (meat, orzo, dressing, tomatoes, olives, feta, (you can make this in advance if you really want to)
  • Scoop a serving into a paper or reusable plastic cup, add a dollop of the tzatziki sauce and serve with a fork
  • Have a bite and have an awesome day

Seared Tuna Tacos

A boat ride should be hot and cool at the same time, right? Warm sunshine, cool refreshing water to dip your toes in, and the best compliment is the perfect handheld. This can be done two ways, all in advance and assembled in the boat, or if you have a grill onboard (good for you), you can sear ‘em on the spot, too.  For us, that’s a perfectly balanced taco, one that you can eat with one hand, and hold your cocktail with the other. For a good day on the water, a great protein from the water really does it for us, and here, we’re going to lightly season a nice tuna steak and slice it, topped with cotija, pickled red onions, cilantro and  a mint-pistachio Mexican cream on some nice corn tortillas gets us right in the feels. Each bite should be well balanced, with a little heat, some fat, salt and some acid, so each of these flavors brings out the rest of the dish, just like each person you bring on the boat brings a little extra out of everyone else.

Ingredients

  • 8 corn tortilla shells (if making them in advance, toast them each in a pan or on the grill for a minute each side, if on the spot, you’ll see that below)
  • ½ pound of Pickled Red Onions (directions below)
  • 3 pounds of Ahi tuna steaks (approximately 4 steaks that are 1.5” thick)
  • ⅔ cup Soy sauce
  • 1 teaspoons garlic red chili garlic sauce
  • 1 teaspoons ginger paste
  • 1 teaspoon lime juice
  • 8 tablespoons Sesame seeds
  • 8 tablespoons Sesame oil (or olive oil)
  • 1 teaspoon sesame oil
  • ¼ cup grated cotija cheese
  • 1 cup chopped cilantro
  • 8 ounces Mexican cream
  • 1 cup shredded fresh mint
  • 3 ounces crushed pistachios
  • 1 teaspoon of granulated garlic

Ingredients for Pickled Red Onions

  • 1 pound Red onions, sliced
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • 1 cup distilled white vinegar 
  • 1 cup water

Directions for Pickled Red Onions

  • Heat water, vinegar and sugar in a pan until the sugar dissolves
  • Pack the onions into a ¼ quart jar (we use plastic so it travels well on the boat) and pour the vinegar/sugar mix over it
  • Seal it and store ‘em in the fridge, they last around 5 weeks, and good after 2 hours

Directions

  • In a food processor, if you’re pistachios aren’t crushed, crush ‘em up, remove and place into a glass bowl
  • Add the mint to the food processor, and grind it down, remove and put it into the same glass bowl
  • Add the Mexican cream and granulated garlic into the same bowl, and stir well, you can put it all into the food processor to really smooth it out too
  • Pour the cream into a plastic condiment bottle (the squirty kind) and set aside
  • Place the steaks in a large plastic bag
  • In a glass bowl, mix the soy sauce, chili sauce, ginger and lime juice, 1 teaspoon of sesame oil and stir up
  • Pour that marinade into the bag with the tuna, and let sit for 30 minutes (if cooking day before, get ready to grill, if grilling on the boat, pour it in 30 minutes before you plan to grill and throw it in your cooler)
  • If cooking before, put 2 tablespoons of sesame in a skillet, get it hot, and sear for about 30 second each side, remove and slice and put in a bag to carry on the boat, or…
  • If grilling on the boat, sear each side for 1 minute, then slice
  • If you’re pre-making, break out those shells, if you’re grilling on the boat, heat the tortillas up on your grill, a minute per side
  • In the bottom of the tortilla, place 5 slices of the tuna, top with pickled red onions, drizzle with mint pistachio cream and top with cilantro
  • Bite up on that taco and taco ‘bout it

That’s Us. Want to Hang?

© 2023 Spatchcock Funk. All Rights Reserved

Holler at Us