S3E2: Don't Feed the Animals

Kids parties can be a drag, but imagine if it was stress-free? Spatchcock Funk creates a menu that is both kid-and-adult-friendly. High-end food and fun that everyone loves. You set up the bounce house, we’ve got everything else covered. Even the animals.

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Recipes from this episode

Aperitif Spritz Pops

Peanut Butter & Jelly Wings

Wood-Fired Pizza

Cupcake Cones

Aperitif Spritz Pops

Yields: 6 Pops
Prep Time: 10 Minutes (plus resting/freezing time of 3 hours)

When you have kids at a party, you need to have some treats, and a lil’ sumpin’ sumpin’ to help you keep your sanity. Don’t worry, we got you covered. When the sun is shinin’ and the kids are running around, what you need is a popsicle, especially when you’ve got a little booze in it, too. We also make a kids' version using blue sports drink to make sure we don’t have any kids getting liquored up. We got the right mix of alcohol (low enough that it will still freeze) and the refreshing taste and feel of an Aperol Spritz, which this basically is, except frozen, baby. So fire up the grill, blow up the bounce house, and just chill. This cocktail is just a vibe by itself. (We adapted this recipe from Food and Wine magazine)

Ingredients for the Boozie Pops:

¾ C Prosecco
½ C Aperol
¼ C Club soda
¼ C Orange juice
6 Ice-pop sticks
Popsicle mold

Ingredients for the Kids’ Version:

24 oz of Blue Powerade
6 Ice-pop sticks
Popsicle mold

Directions for the Boozie Pops:

In a large mixing bowl, whisk up all the liquid ingredients
Pour the mix into the mold
Throw the lids on, and insert the ice-pop sticks

Directions for the Kids' Version:

Add in the Powerade to the popsicle molds
Insert sticks
Freeze ‘em

Peanut Butter &
Jelly Wings

Yields: 3 Adult Servings or 6 Kid Servings
Prep Time: 30 minutes

In the Spatchcock Family, Alex’s daughter and our favorite co-star, Amelia, always asks for chicken wings at her birthday party, and we do it up, because when a Queen asks for things, ya just plain gotta deliver. We like to mix and match flavors, and we thought pairing it with another kid favorite, peanut butter and jelly, would bring it to the next level, and it really delivers, baby. Perfect to keep kids and adults guessing, the flavor profile is a certified knockout. Salty, creamy peanut better, some sweetness from the jelly, and the crisp on a fried wing just does things right, and if you wanna keep the kids in control, you gotta do a lot of things right (and you need a little luck too, let’s face it). Fire up these beauties, and you’re in good shape!

Ingredients:

2-3 Ibs (2-3 dozen) chicken wing portions, flappers discarded
1 C Peanut butter & jelly sauce (ingredients/directions below)
½ C bleu cheese for dipping (ingredients/directions below)
Chopped fresh green onions for garnish
Chopped peanuts for garnish

Ingredients for Peanut Butter & Jelly Sauce

¾ C Cream peanut butter
1 Tbsp Lime juice (the juice of two limes)
1 C Grape jelly
¼ C Apple cider vinegar
1 ½ Tbsp sriracha
1 tsp Freshly grated ginger Ingredients for Blueberry Hot Sauce

Ingredients for Chunky Blue Cheese Dressing (this is courtesy of Mason Hereford and the Turkey and the Wolf Cookbook)

10 oz (or 1 ¼ C) of blue cheese crumbles
1 C Mayo
½ C Sour cream
¼ C Buttermilk
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 Tbsp poppy seeds
1 ½ tsp hot sauce (like a tabasco)
1 ½ tsp garlic powder
1 ¼ tsp onion powder
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
½ tsp celery salt
½ tsp celery seed
Kosher salt to taste

Directions:

Bring your oil to 375 degrees
Lower the wings, 12 at a time, into the oil
Fry for 7-10 minutes until golden brown and crispy
Take the wings out of the fryer, and salt immediately
Toss the wings in the glaze
Top with peanuts and green onions

Directions for Chunky Blue Cheese Dressing

In a large glass mixing bowl, mix everything together
Take a taste, and if you need to add more salt or lemon juice, go for it (this will stay in your fridge for a week)

Directions for Peanut Butter & Jelly Sauce

In a small saucepan over medium heat, mix all the ingredients together until
smooth and evenly mixed

Wood-Fired Pizza

Yields: 6 Pizzas
Total time: 90 Minutes active time, 2 days resting time if making dough from scratch

Show us someone who doesn’t like a good pizza party, and we’ll show you a liar. They work for kids, of course, but you can be in your backyard,a classroom, an office, or even jail, and a great slice of pizza will brighten anyone’s mood. We go with two classics to keep the kids engaged. The first is pepperoni pizza (the most ordered pizza in the world), but we kick it up a notch for the adults too, with some spicy cup pepperoni, creamy fresh mozzarella and some fresh basil, too. Not to be outmatched (and to show love to those vegetarian kiddos), we make a classic cheese pizza with a 3-cheese blend and a little olive oil. We use a wood-fired pizza oven, but you can use a grill or smoker attachment too. Wood-fired pizza just hits differently. If you don’t want to make your own dough, buy some at the store, you got a lot to manage at a kids’ party, after all.

Ingredients:

12 oz pizza dough (ingredients/directions below)
¼ C pizza sauce (ingredients/directions below)
For the pepperoni pizza, ½ C spicy cup pepperoni
For the pepperoni pizza, 8 oz of thinly sliced fresh mozzarella cheese • For the pepperoni pizza, 3 leaves of fresh basil
For the cheese pizza, ¼ C asiago cheese, ½ C mozzarella cheese, ¼ C shredded parm
For the cheese pizza, olive oil to drizzle
For the cheese pizza, 1 tsp Italian seasoning

Ingredients for Pizza Dough

39 oz (959 g) Bread flour
21 oz (595 g) Water
.13 oz (3.8 g) Yeast
.84 oz (24 g) Table salt
.67 oz (19 g) Granulated sugar
1.13 oz (31 g) Olive oil

Ingredients for the Pizza Sauce

2 Tbsp Extra-virgin olive oil
2 fresh Garlic cloves, crushed
4 C cans of crushed San Marzano tomatoes
1 tsp Sugar
1 tsp Salt
¼ C Fresh basil leaves, roughly chopped
Pinch of freshly ground black pepper
39 oz (959 g) Bread flour

Directions:

Get your wood oven ripping hot, with a goal of 932 degrees F
Take your dough, and break it into 3 balls
On a really, really floured surface, roll the dough out into 12” circles
Ladle 1⁄4 C of sauce on each pizza
On one, tear your fresh mozz into slices, not too many (like 5), and disperse
evenly
On that same pizza, disperse 5-6 piece of pepperoni
On that same pizza, add the fresh basil
On another pizza, sprinkle 1⁄4 C of the cheese mixture evenly across
Sprinkle with Italian seasoning
Each pizza goes in, one at a time, for 40 seconds, then take it out and rotate, and
put it back in for another 40 seconds
Garnish the pizzas with a drizzle of olive oil if you like

Ingredients for Pizza Dough

39 oz (959 g) Bread flour
21 oz (595 g) Water
.13 oz (3.8 g) Yeast
.84 oz (24 g) Table salt
.67 oz (19 g) Granulated sugar
1.13 oz (31 g) Olive oil

Ingredients for Pizza Sauce

2 Tbsp Extra-virgin olive oil
2 fresh Garlic cloves, crushed
4 C cans of crushed San Marzano tomatoes
1 tsp Sugar
1 tsp Salt
¼ C Fresh basil leaves, roughly chopped
Pinch of freshly ground black pepper

Cupcake Cones

Yields: 24 Servings
Prep Time: 35 Minutes

A pretty common discussion in the Spatchcock house? What to have for dessert. When it comes to a party with the kids in action, the usual debate is cupcakes or ice cream cones. We thought “Why not split the difference?” So we make cupcakes IN an ice cream cone. Plenty of that awesome frosting, and plenty of sugar, because we all know that’s exactly what you want to keep kids goin’ all day and get them on their best behavior. The crunch of the cone with the fluffy cake is such a great, satisfying bite, and the sweet, creamy frosting brings it all together. This baby has mouthfeel, flavor, and the perfect treat that won’t melt all down your fingers and make a mess (with much respect to ice cream, another one of our favorite things in the whole wide world). This one’s easy, and the crowd seems to love it. Get bakin’ and get crunchin’. And, if you’re really fiending for ice cream, you can replace the frosting with that too, and leave the cake in the cone up to the top. Still great!

Ingredients:

1 box of yellow cake mix (follow directions on the box, usually requires an egg
vegetable oil)
24 mini ice cream cones (make sure they’re the cake cones)
4 C Butter cream frosting (ingredients/directions below)
Rainbow sprinkles, obvs

Ingredients for Buttercream Frosting

1 1⁄2 C unsalted butter at room temperature
Pinch of fine sea salt
1 1⁄2 Ibs of powdered sugar, sift it before using
1 Tbsp vanilla extract
3 Tbsp heavy whipping cream
Big pinch of table salt

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350°F
In a separate large bowl, follow the directions on the box of cake batter, mix, and
set aside
Take the cones and take a mini muffin and line ‘em up. If you don’t have one,
pack the cones in tight on a foil pan, using tin foil as guard rails to keep ‘em
straight
Fill each cone 2⁄3 of the way full with the batter
Bake ‘em for 17 minutes until a toothpick can get in there and out clean
Use a piping bag and twirl up the frosting like a soft serve ice cream cone
Hit ‘em with the sprinkles, you got a hit dessert!

Directions for Buttercream Frosting

Use your stand mixer with the paddle, and beat the butter up on medium speed
for 7 minutes
Lower the speed, and slowly add in the salt and sugar, and beat until it is evenly
mixed
Add in vanilla and the heavy cream and mix on low until fully mixed, 2-3 minutes
Add the salt
Increase back to medium speed and beat it up for 7 minutes
You want it thick, but if you have to thin it out, add some milk (only a little bit)